questions

Questions to myself:

What are my private artistic practices?

What are my public artistic practices?

What kind of public practices take place in Vantaa in November of 2021? In Merihaka throughout the fall of 2021? in Studio 3 in November 2021?

Is there a dance performance?

Is there dance at all and why do I think it is needed?

Who am I collaborating with?

Why do I feel so depressed frustrated all the time and what does it do to this work?

What is my further understanding of the entanglement of languages, texts, corporeality and foreignness in this artistic work?

What is the role of institutions in this artistic work?
(besides the obvious institutional status of this Master Thesis)

What are some alternative economic models that can emerge from doing this work and collaborating with other bodies?

What am I not asking here?

Why do I want to get rid of personal narrative? What comes instead then?

What about gender? Do I want to ask about gender? What am I asking about gender?

Why did I share my non-dominant hand drawing of my genitals?

Why Vantaa and why Merihaka?

- everything there is nonplace for me or the place that I know without knowing. Museum is like any other museum. Next to train station that goes to Vantaa airport and to center Helsinki. Concrete housing blocks by the water like any other concrete housing blocks by the water. Insignificance caught up with me and became a prominent feature of the last several years. I encounter this insignificance everywhere in Helsinki. Perhaps it stands in a striking contrast with encountering San Francisco of my youth: living in an ongoing cinematographic image. Now the cinematographic image is elsewhere, I’m not even taken as an extra in it. I am fascinated by this sense of losing the frame, being outside of the frame of cinematography. The insignificance of Merihaka and Vantaa is the direction of my explorations.

Where is dance?

- Dance is everywhere in this project for me but invisible like the Cyrillic letters on all the keyboards that I have used for the last eighteen years. In a way it is an illegitimate method that does not get any visibility. My fingers know my keyboard but my mind struggles to recreate it if you ask me to do that. Dance has been existing in the same way for me: I cannot grasp it fully, only partially, sometimes it happens but I cannot take full responsibility for it.